Masochist
by soccercopdoc
Summary: Clarke is upset at almost having lost Lexa in the fight with Roan. It makes her realizes how much she wants the Commander, so she goes to give Lexa a piece of her mind...and something more.
1. Chapter 1

"She says you're a masochist for falling for me, So roll up your sleeves." ~ Masochist by Ingrid Michaelson

* * *

Clarke paces furiously around her room, unable to sleep. Yesterday was a nightmare. Lexa almost died and she was still upset. She keeps seeing flashes of that moment in her mind, every time she closes her eyes. That moment…Lexa lying on the ground with Roan standing over her. She thought for sure that was the end. She was certain of it; she would never see the Commander again. And in that moment she realized, no matter how much she claimed to hate Lexa or believe that she still did not forgive her, she would miss her. Clarke wasn't ready to let Lexa go, not yet, there was too much she needed to say to her. Hell, there was too much she wanted to do to her, she smirks to herself.

The blonde stops pacing, making up her mind. She needed to find the Commander, now.

* * *

A loud and persistent knocking pulls Lexa from her plans for the following day. She opens the door to see a very disheveled and serious looking Clarke standing there.

"Hello, Ambassador. I thought you had gone to sleep." The taller woman states with the raise of an eyebrow.

"I was…well I tried. I just…..I can't sleep." the blonde responds.

"Is there something you need? Anything I can do to help?" Lexa asks as she steps aside and motions for the smaller woman to enter.

Clarke doesn't respond and bites her lip as she steps inside, brushing past Lexa strategically as she enters. Her should rubs against the Commanders breasts and she swears she hears the older woman hiss slightly at the contact and she smirks.

She looks around the room; yes she's been here before, more than once. However, at the time she wasn't thinking of all the things she wanted to do to the taller woman on the glorious looking bed. Clarke feels her face start to heat up when she wonders how long she has been silently staring at Lexa's bed.

"What is it Clarke? What is troubling you? Are you mad at me?" if the Commander has noticed her odd behavior, she doesn't point it out.

"No, Lexa. Why would I be mad at you?" Clarke says startled out of her less than innocent thoughts.

"You…,"clears throat, "…you avoided me all day. I thought….after last night…." The other woman trails off.

"No, no. I'm not mad. I was just…I needed time to think." The skaikru Ambassador responds.

"Alright." Lexa nods.

"I….after yesterday…I just…I almost lost you Lexa. I was worried." Clarke whispers.

"No need to worry Clarke. If my battle was over, my spirit would have moved on." The Commander states matter-of-factly.

"I don't want your spirit to move on. I want it to stay where it is…I need it to stay where it is." Clarke says adamantly moving closer.

"Are you concerned for your people? I thought we went over this, Clarke. Aden will take care of them, protect them. You are part of the coalition now." The brunette reassures her.

"No...I mean, yes, of course I am concerned for my people, but I don't want Aden." The smaller woman steps closer.

"What is wrong with him?," the brunette sounding so much like an offended mother that Clarke almost laughs, "He is my most skilled nightblood. He is as good as I was at his age."

"Aden is fine, that's not the point. It's not that I don't want him to be Heda." The blonde woman sighs out.

"Clarke, do not be too hard on Aden. He will be a good Heda." Lexa says seriously.

"What I want Commander, a 12 year old boy cannot give me." Clarke husks out, trying a more direct approach to spell it out for the Commander.

"I was younger than him when I became Heda." The Commander states proudly.

"Age is not important….I was….." the blonde shakes her head furiously; this isn't coming out the way she had planned. How can Lexa not understand what she's getting at.

"I understand that you are…," the Commander tilts her head, looking for the right word, "comfortable with me as Heda, but there is no need to be afraid. My fight will be over one day and you will have to embrace a new Heda."

"That's not the point. God, why are you so morbid Lexa? Can we please stop talking about you dying?" the blonde groans.

"I was simply trying to reassure you. Your people will be safe. Aden will…" the brunette is cut off.

"Dammit Lexa! I don't want Aden. I want you!" Clarke gasps out and slaps her hand over her mouth.

Lexa swallows and blinks, she looks like a deer caught in the head lights. Like of all the things she was expecting, this wasn't one of them. She's afraid to move as if she might scare Clarke away. Clarke might laugh if she wasn't busy being mortified at herself.

"Clarke. I…I'm not sure…uhhhmm…what.."the taller woman stutters as Clarke stalks toward her.

Lexa nervously shifts and struggles to not step back from rapidly approaching blonde. Clarke would have stopped and commented on how adorable a nervous Lexa was, if she didn't have one thing on her mind and one thing only. Enough of this, she decides on a very direct approach, to leave no doubt in the Commanders mind.

"Shut up Lexa." Clarke growls as she grabs the brunette's wrist and pulls her flush against her before smashing their lips together.


	2. Chapter 2

"You say that my skin feels like no one else's, that it's different somehow." ~ Masochist by Ingrid Michaelson

* * *

Lexa is so surprised that at first she doesn't move. She just stands there as Clarke's lips roam hungrily over hers. She's not sure what has brought about this change in Clarke, but she's not complaining. Clarke bites at the taller woman's lip to get a reaction from her. When Lexa growls in response the blonde grins and pushes herself further to her. Their lips move together, hungry and exploring. This is so much different from their first kiss. This is all passion and longing. They have both denied themselves for too long for this to be soft or slow.

Clarke lets go of Lexa's wrist to fist her shirt in her hands, pulling them impossibly closer. She doesn't want to let go, doesn't want this to end. However, the need for air is starting to affect them both. Lexa pulls back and looks at the blonde. Clarke's eyes are still closed and she's frowning at the sudden loss of warm lips against hers. The taller woman chuckles her breath puffing out against swollen lips.

"Clarke..?" The brunette signs out questioningly.

"Lexa" the smaller woman sasses back as her eyes flutter open.

"I..," Lexa takes a step back and has to stop and swallow at the hungry look the blonde is giving her, "why now? What has changed?"

Clarke shakes her head; of course the Commander would need an explanation as to why she was kissing her. Lexa was so cautious with her. She knows it's her own fault; she has constantly pushed the older woman away at every chance she got. Clarke had prided herself on believing that she was only concerned for her people and didn't care about the Commander. She was done pretending.

"Like I said," Clarke shrugs, "I almost lost you yesterday and it made me start to think what that would mean."

"So you needed to kiss me?" Lexa asks incredulously.

"Yes….I…well, I've spent too much time hating you Lexa. I've wasted too much time being mad and yesterday made me realize that I'm ready to forgive you and move on." The blonde explains.

"What of your people, Ambassador?" Heda questions.

"What about them?" Clarke asks as she stalks closer to the brunette.

She smiles as she enters into Lexa's personal space again and looks into her eyes.

"This," she says as she motions between her and the taller woman, "this has nothing to do with my people. This is about what I want."

"And what do you want Clarke?" Lexa husks out.

The blonde tilts her head up brushing her lips over the other woman's. She runs her tongue out and over Lexa's bottom lip sensually.

"You, Lexa." She answers before kissing the Commander hungrily.

The brunette moans at the passion that Clarke is putting into the kiss and brings her hands up to run them through blonde locks, trying to bring their mouths even closer. Clarke lets her hands move to the taller woman's hips and grips them, digging her fingertips in. She knows that she's leaving marks, but she doesn't care, she's staking her claim on the Heda.

They nip, lick, and suck with abandon; moaning into each other's mouths. They are breathless, chests heaving together. Lexa shifts forward moving her thing between Clarke's legs. Clarke groans at the contact and her hips surge forward. The Commander lets one hand fall to the blonde's ass and grabs it tightly. Clarke sucks in a breath as the taller woman starts to move her against her thigh.

"Oh god." Clarke moans out as she bucks against Lexa's thigh and at this rate she thinks they'll never actually make it to the bed.

"Lexa…," the smaller woman sighs out trying to find her voice.

"Yes, Clarke?" the brunette asks as she starts to nip and lick the pale flesh of the blonde's jaw.

"I…shit…," she's forgotten what she wanted to say due to the delicious scrape of teeth on her throat.

Lexa continues to push and pull the smaller woman against her thigh as she sucks on her pulse point before swirling her tongue over the spot. Clarke can feel herself getting wetter and is sure that Lexa can feel it through her pants. She throws her arms around the Commanders neck and continues to ride her thigh wantonly. Her stomach is starting to coil and grow warm, spreading out. The blonde shakes her head; she can't cum like this and not so quickly.

"Bed….," Clarke growls out, "now."

Lexa only nods in response before moving her other hand to the blonde's ass and picking the smaller woman up by the backs of her thighs. She moves them to the bed, not stopping her onslaught of teeth and tongue against Clarke's neck as she lowers her onto it. The blonde gazes up at the taller woman with hooded eyes. Lexa looks back at her and begins to remove her shirt.

"Wait," Clarke says moving to the edge of the bed sitting up, "I want to."

Clarke brings her hands up to the hem of the grounders shirt and begins to push it up over her stomach, letting her nails scrape over the taunt muscles underneath. Lexa shivers and Clarke smiles up at her and lets the brunette pull her shirt the rest of the way off. Clarke lets her fingers lightly ghost over the sides and abs of the amazing woman in front of her. She cannot describe how turned on she is, just from looking at the brunettes abs. She reaches for the front of the Commanders pants and pulls her forward, placing her lips against the skin she sees. Clarke licks over the tan flesh under her lips and feels the taller woman's abs contract. She dips her head slightly and bites Lexa's hip leaving teeth marks, earning a moan from the brunette. The Ambassador pulls back and begins to drag Lexa's pants down her impossibly long legs. She lets them drop to the floor to allow the grounder to step out of them. Clarke sits back, drinking in the magnificent sight before her. Lexa is beautiful, every scar and tattoo making her even more so. The blonde can't wait to run her hands over every inch of the Heda's body.


End file.
